A (+/-) Range (90-100) = “So good it will make you smack yo Mamma”- as soon as a beverage of this quality hits your lips, you will automatically drift into a Homer Simpson like infatuation for alcohol. You will immediately text everyone you know who drinks and lecture them on how much they are missing out on by not drinking this beverage.
B (+/-) Range (80-89) = This is a great beverage. You will think to yourself, “I will definitely start buying this more often.” So much so that your budget might begin to shift solely to accommodate your new found drink of choice. This beverage will be good enough for others to see your sense of taste in beverages and, let’s be honest, in life are decent and well played. No matter how misguided, when you drink this beer and share it with friends, people will look at you much more highly. And to think this is not the best quality beverage you can have.
C (+/-) Range (70-79) = This is an average drink, which is good because it is consistent and safe. Good beverage, plain and simple. Now, many people will rank this as a their favorite or the one they drink all the time, while others will say they will not be caught dead drinking anything that is even comparable to this drink. Truth is this beverage is neither great nor is it awful. This beer is most likely based on image. Taste is not the only thing that factors into a review of a beer, there are a host of factors. If you ordered a pitcher of this beverage everyone would drink it, but some would complain under their breath while others will think you had them in mind when considering what beverage to get for the group.
D (+/-) Range (60-69) = Not so good drinks, but hey, they get a passing grade. This can be considered a beverage of compromise. It can either be a compromise you have to make for budget, convenience, or company. You may not like the taste, but the amazing thing about alcohol is that it gets better the more you consume. Just know it is very drinkable, may not be filled with flavor, but you will be able to power through it.
F (+/-) Range (00-59) = This a bad drink all around, there is no compromise, just bad. When thinking of this type of beverage, associate it with drinks you make people drink on their 21st birthday. This is not to say you will never drink these drinks or only on one occasion, but you will not be making or ordering them anytime soon. When people approach you with this drink you have to remind yourself that wasting alcohol is the equivalent of wasting money.
Although beer is most likely going to correspond with its grade, it will not always be the case. The overall rating of a beer is what we feel is the true rating of the beer. This combines factors outside of the beer, like occasion, costs, and effectiveness. The overall rankings are in accordance with the stages of drunkenness with Sober being the worse scenario and Blackout (in some twisted and cynical way) being the best.
Sober- With this beverage you are going to want to stay sober. You will not want to drink enough to get to any other stage of drunkenness.
Buzzin- Good enough to get your lips wet. You might not want to drink a lot of it though.
Tipsy- Right where you want to be. A good feeling and a good drink.
Party- Do not hold back and enjoy. So good you will keep on drinking and get to the stage in which you are a great social being.
Blackout- Wants you start, it becomes hard to stop. This is your “go-to” drink when you are ready for one of THOSE nights.
"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind." -Humphrey Bogart
